Author: Fessy Shafaat

If someone isn’t supporting you physically, emotionally, or even financially why would you give their opinion any mind or value? It has no value in your life. Their opinion does not pay your rent, give you life advice, or provide you happiness. Let them have their opinion, it should not affect how you live your life. Keep doing you, stay in your lane and go get what’s yours. There are two different kinds of people in this world: the person who sees others winning and happy, and are genuinely happy to see and experience someone else’s happiness and are motivated by their happiness. On the other hand there are those who will take anything someone does, no matter how great or amazing, they will try to find the bad in that person, that my friends is jealously at it’s finest. Don’t be that person! There’s no place for jealously in this world. There are billionaires who have everything and are not happy because they are always looking at what else someone has. I firmly believe you can have anything you want in this world. Enjoy the process and be happy in whatever you decide to pursue. Motivate, Motivate, Motivate.

Life is freaking scary. I understand. But do not, I repeat DO NOT let hesitation be the reason to hold you back from being great. Get out of your comfort zone, it will tear all your dreams down. There’s nothing to hold on to. Just do it, JUMP! Take that leap of faith because I promise you there is something great waiting for you. You just have to let go of what you’re holding on to, what you’re used to, that fear you are scared to let go, to overcome. Let go of it because I know its the scariest feeling in the world. But if you never try, you will never know. You don’t want to look back years from now wishing you could have taken that chance. Take it, TAKE THAT CHANCE, it just might make all your wildest dreams come true..

I’m not here to rant to you about the do’s and don’ts of Big Brother or to tell you how to play the game, we all know my gameplay can’t be matched. 

For any BB21 houseguest’s bout to go into sequester, the one piece of advice I feel I am qualified to give you, stay true to yourself.  Don’t change for a reality tv show/ game. 

I’m not saying go in there and not try to win that 500k, that’s a lot of money. Go in and bust your ass to get it.  But don’t change who you are. That was one of my few rules to myself walking in. Don’t change because you know you’re on TV, this is only 99 days, you have your life after this. Set yourself up for success after the show. Because yes, you will be loved for being an AMAZING gameplayer, but you will be loved even more for being an AMAZING person. 

This social experiment changed my life completely. You won’t believe all the opportunities I have been given because people like who I am and want to help and support me. So, no, I didn’t win BB20, but I stay winning in life because of how I carried myself on the show.

For most people watching at home what they don’t understand is the psychological toll it takes on you. Going into the house there’s no real way you can prepare for it. Viewers watch an episode on a Thursday, then go about their weekend and come back and tune in on Sunday and aren’t conscious that we haven’t moved from that house. And those weeks start to add up quickly. It is an experiment, and if you don’t stay true to yourself it can really affect you, in the house and even more so when you get out. 

The real dedicated big brother fan who watch live feeds really get to know the real you.  I think therefore the houseguests come off the show with some amazing fans and who become great friends after the show. It’s not because how they played a game on a tv show in a parking lot studio, but because who they are as people

So that is my advice, yes go in and play your ass off, but be conscious that you have a life after this and you want to set yourself up for success after the show. I think I’ve heard over 70,000 people apply to be on big brother. That’s some crazy odds, you want to take advantage of your opportunity. I was dumbfounded when I got off the show and saw the amount of support I had. It was amazing. Didn’t expect that in a million years. But what I’ve come to find out, I did some cool things in the game and I did some dumb things in the game.  Because my fans liked me as a PERSON I now have a big Amazing loyal fan base. Because of all their love and support, I have all the love in the world for everyone.

The first thing they tell you when you get out of the house, and I was in there 72 days before getting evicted and another 27 days in Jury and sequester, is STAY OFF TWITTER. And what’s the first thing all of us do, get on Twitter.

I thought it was hilarious seeing all the strong opinions people had about me, both good and bad. And the best advice I can give you is JUST ROLL WITH IT!

Don’t let something someone says about you dictate how you live your life or how you feel about yourself. After the show I was labeled a big dumb puppet, right? So, what did I do, just went with it. I sold Who Flipped Hats, I retweeted people making fun of me mopping like an idiot, because it was funny to me. I knew how I was in real life.  What do I look like trying to argue with people who think of me a certain way based on what they saw on a reality TV show.  Yes, it is for a cash prize; but, most of all it was for Y’alls entertainment. At the end of the day I knew how I was perceived on TV and just went with it.  I think the real people and fans really had fun with it, the people who were trying to get under my skin suddenly disappeared because they knew it didn’t affect me.

I think a lot of the big brother community (fans and house guests) think only a handful of people get the hate, and those nasty messages.  The truth is everyone gets it. It’s just how you choose to react or if you even react at all. For me personally like I said before, I appreciate all the support I have gotten, but on the other side if you don’t like me that’s your decision and choice and I respect it. However, I’m not going to let it affect me and dictate how I live. I have love for everyone. Always been that way.

Everyone has an opinion and they are entitled to that opinion. That opinion should not affect you, your decisions, or the way you live your life. There are over seven billion people in this world. Not all of them are going to like you, that doesn’t make you a bad person.

I’m not saying go around pissing people off, I’m just saying some people are going to make their own pre-conceived notions of you, that doesn’t mean you change who you are. Stay true to yourself, don’t change for any one. It may sound selfish, but sometimes you have to put yourself first. Your mental health is very important, and if you don’t love yourself how do you expect someone else too?

Cleanse the mind, Cleanse the body

Ramadan is the ninth month of the year in Islam, followed by the lunar calendar (Moon) and it is upon us. We just finished day six, and I have to say I already feel amazing. I started the first day weighing 249 lbs with nothing on and today I weigh 235 lbs with nothing on. Granted, most of the weight I lost is water weight. Still, it is now out of my system and we are only on day six out of 30. I expect to get down as low as 220 lbs. Now for those who don’t know the purpose of Ramadan, it is not to lose weight. That is just something that tends to happen if you combine it with fitness. The reason, to get closer to God. When you can’t eat or drink water from sun up to sun down every day you’re not worried about what you will eat or enjoy next. Therefore, you have time to reflect and pray and ask God to accept your fast, forgive you for your sins, and thank him for all he has blessed you with.

I’m not going to lie, the first couple days are pretty harsh especially if you’re not use to it. You can get headaches, cramps, etc. After you get past that hump your body will start the cleansing process that many of us so need.  Believe it or not, you actually will have more energy than you normally have throughout the day.  This is hard to believe because you don’t have all that food holding you down.  Think about after a big meal, you feel sluggish and don’t want to get up or even want to take a nap because you are so full. Well, what I’ve experience during my past years of Ramadan has been eye opening. It really does cleanse your body, and as far as your mind, you have a clear mind and start to be thankful for everything God has blessed you with. And, it does feel rewarding taking that first sip of water once the sun goes down and you say your prayers

Believe it or not, a productive day starts with making your bed. I used to hear people say that from time to time. When I actually started this practice, I realized it really does kick start your day in the right direction. It triggers the mind to get things done. Before you know it, your whole house is clean, you’ve run all your errands, you fit in a great workout, and paid that red-light ticket you’ve been putting off. But in all seriousness, give it a try, your day will be 10X more productive.

Find out what you enjoy doing, not what you can tolerate, but what you genuinely love to do, and try to monetize it. Most people, including me, are used to living day by day, or week to week, in a job or situation that we don’t like but we know it pays the bills and we feel a certain complacency with that. We tend to tell ourselves, well, if I can make X amount of dollars this week, then I know my bills are paid. There is nothing wrong with that, that’s not what I’m saying.

But are we only living to pay our bills? That can’t be our only purpose in life. Do we want to work 40 hours a week just to use all our earnings to have a place to sleep when we are not at work?

Everyone has a gift, believe it or not. Whether it be athletic, intelligence, social skills, or even video games. Everyone has a craft. Most of us go to work 40 hours a week to come home and do what we love on our own time for free, our free time can be spending time at the gym, playing video games, or working on social media, etc.

Here is my question to all of us.  What if we spend our free time figuring out how to monetize our craft, so eventually we are our own boss?  Look, I’m not saying quit your day job and try to become an entrepreneur today. But figure out your purpose. Our purpose in life is not to just pay bills, that can’t be it.

If one door closes, I promise you that door wasn’t meant for you. You were meant for something else, maybe something even greater.

I could’ve sworn I was going to the NFL. I went to a smaller division 1 school but none the less, I did what I had to do, had great statistics and great attributes/measurements. Was I going to get drafted?…. most likely not. But I was projected to be in a preseason camp, and a priority free agent. I was the 36th ranked tight end for the 2015 NFL Draft and broke every single receiving record at my school for my position. Long story short, after receiving heavy interest prior to the draft and several pre-draft calls from NFL teams when that day came….. NOTHING. Not a single call, not one camp invite…. nothing. That really hit me hard, especially seeing my teammates who I’ve been grinding with for five years get their shot. It was a tough pill to swallow. 32 NFL teams smacked me in my face and said, “you’re not good enough”.  That’s okay though, when that door closed I knew another door was going to open soon.

I didn’t get a 9-5 job with my college degree. Instead, for the last 2 years I was serving tables, substitute teaching, and working security at a bar. In my free time I loved the gym, I knew I could do a lot of athletic things that many people could not do. So that was my craft. I didn’t get to showcase it at the NFL, so I went down another avenue. I investigated other opportunities that I could showcase my craft at a national level and it eventually landed me on America Ninja Warrior and Big Brother season 20 television shows. These shows have given me other opportunities and I’ve met some great people throughout my journey. Of course, I’m grateful for what I have and we all should be. But we need to use our craft, connections,  and platform to our advantage. Use it as a stepping stone to where we really want to go and what we really want to be in life.

The Grass is always greener on the other side. But just like Instagram it may be the lighting. It may appear that way based on the angle and perception you have. Remember, social media is a highlight. Just because someone’s life appears better doesn’t mean that they are better than you. Everyone is custom built, and is on their own daily roller coaster known as life. Keep your head down, work your ass off, and most importantly, STAY IN YOUR LANE. You’re breathing…..so smile! God gave you another day on this earth, so even if you have struggles, that’s another day to try to conquer them. Life has it’s ups and downs for everybody. But, if it wasn’t for the lows, the highest wouldn’t feel as great. Remember that.

Really ask yourself that, are you living life, or are you simply just getting through it?  It’s understood that everybody has responsibilities but we must make time. There are 24 hours in a day, make them all count.

Humans tend to get complacent and comfortable. I’m asking you to step out of your comfort zone.  It’s scary at first, but it will open up your mind. The possibilities are endless. It reminds us how small we really are on the life scale. Most people have never been out of their country,  some never leave their hometown. I understand being comfortable and grateful for what you have. However, when you venture out and see the world it really does open up your eyes. It makes you think more because your mind is being exposed to situations it has never seen before. Who knows what crazy brilliant ideas you will come up with?

Now,  a lot of people may be reading this and thinking to themselves, the only reason he is able to travel like this is because he was on the television show, Big Brother. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for the platform it has provided me. But, what will you do with your platform? What will you do with your opportunity? Don’t let it pass you by, use it to your advantage. Same goes for so many people every day, an opportunity may present itself, to travel or step out of your comfort zone. I know it’s hard and nerve wracking to take that first step, not having a clue what is going to happen. But let me tell you this, if you are not satisfied where you’re at, this may be the missing puzzle piece you were looking for. Take that leap, don’t look back, live your life.

Everyone has their dream car, but have you ever liked a specific car more than others? If you do, you tend to see it more and more often. It just tends to pop up left and right in your life. At the stoplight, in the parking lot, on the highway. It’s not because suddenly there are more of them. It’s because your conscious of them so you notice it more.

The same goes with positivity and your outlook on life. It’s all about perspective. If you try to start seeing the good in situations, the good in people, it will become a habit. If you make a conscious effort to see the positive, sooner than later you will be able to see the light in any situation no matter how dark it is.

If you start your day with a positive attitude it will most likely continue throughout the whole day. Positivity really is contagious, if you see someone with an authentic smile on their face, someone genuinely enjoying the day God has granted them, it is hard for that not to rub off on you.